She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
