why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
