Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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