I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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