The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
