i just made my gag reflex go away.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
