Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
