I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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