you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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