He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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