Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
