I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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