he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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