I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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