there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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