real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
