It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
