part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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