I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
