Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
