Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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