the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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