I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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