Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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