i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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