what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
