My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize