worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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