that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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