We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize