if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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