but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
