you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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