ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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