strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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