if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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