yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
North Korea, Best Korea!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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