if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
