Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
