So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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