2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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