it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
