Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
