is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
