Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
