we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
