I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
pray to the hookup gods
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
