i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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