i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
