my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Randomize
