Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
