So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize