Tell her she can't have a vagina
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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