Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
