When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
