youre lurking in front of me
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
