sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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