Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
