There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
