so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
