dude i'm inner monologue high
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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