Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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