Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
