We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
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True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
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My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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